Leaving my land of birth as a twelve-year old, for some strange reason I did not miss it. I had many friends who for some strange reason I did not even mind not saying goodbye to. I shed no tears, felt no pain, just moved on.

As a sixteen-year old, I tend to feel more of a connection with my friends. I hold to the idea that this time of my life is one where lifelong friends will be made. I’ve found that true, with a tight group of friends with which I spend time and simply put, enjoy this time of life with.

I feel like we are inseparable; comparable to woven thread. Once intertwined, we make a fine piece of fabric which reflects all our vibrant individualities while displaying the synergy a group of threads have.

I guess that’s why when one of us disappears, a gaping hole protrudes right through the middle.

I never really thought I would have reacted the way I did – he had been supposedly ‘leaving’ for almost a year – so many schedule changes led me to want him to just leave already..

The time came tonight, and was accompanied by much laughter as I was put to embarrassment in front of an ever-growing crowd of spectators, who were all equally eager to watch me unravel the mystery present my friend had prepared (quite painstakingly as I realized, taking me ten minutes to unwrap) which included a means for me to remember him and what he perceived me to be. At the end of it all, finally giving him one final hug and handshake, we parted.

All was well until traveling home in the car, when I looked down and saw the present sitting next to me. It finally hit me. Hard.

I realized who I was actually saying goodbye to. It shattered me to think I had missed the boat the whole time.

Ever so faithfully, my inherent “neural iPod” which just so happens to play the most “fitting” song at the right time, kicked in and my mind was led to reminisce over the past two years that I had been so privileged to know him in. From the day we became partners in crime up to tonight, I replayed the vast archive of memories which seemingly flooded my mind.

I never really felt this way before; never had to say goodbye to someone so close; never experienced the sensation of loss in this sense. I guess that’s why I’m writing this entry – I just had to let it all out.

Over the years I know we will have numerous reunions, but it simply isn’t the same as having him living in the same city. At least I know, even if I don’t see him again (God forbid) it’s not ‘goodbye’; in reality it’s ’see you later’. I take comfort in that fact.

This is my dedication.

Micaiah, you have not ‘have been’ a great friend. I believe in life friends. You are one of them. Don’t ever forget it. Even death doesn’t do us part. There’s still eternity to look forward to. My final charge to you: Always remember to keep your eye on the Prize and seek first the Kingdom of God. Don’t drift away. It’s not worth it.

Next time I see him, I believe a fitting greeting would be “Dude, you made me cry!”

I’ve been busy. Later.

Hmm…why is there such a massive time gap between this entry and Monsieur Previous? It’s like they’ve been divorced or some similar separation condition. Of course, divorced wasn’t really a good word to use because I just so happen to hate it. But I digress.

Uni has swallowed up my past two months and I have no time for anything but it. And it’s midterm break now which probably explains why I’m actually writing stuff. It’s not really a break though; it just so happens to be a lecture-free week – or assignment-cram time for the pessimistic. Including me for now. After writing over 20000 words in a reflective engineering journal I have no idea how I can still write as casual as this, and WITHOUT relating my words to particular learning outcomes. Through this online journal, I am developing my professional communication abilities. There we go again… :/

Oh well, I’ve spent five minutes here doing nothing explicitly productive so I had better return to my darling math textbook which seems to be suffering separation anxiety although it’s sitting right next to me. Stupid integrals.

Means ‘why’. I think.

Well, I’m finally free-ish; at least to the extent that I can write another entry. A really short, nutshelled one. Which I suppose is a bit redundant because nutshelled means ’short’.

I’m exhausted – HBC was the best though. I loved the whole time! Got to song-lead for the kids, put on impromptu puppet shows, skits, the lot…and I am flat-out tired now. In perfect time for uni to start tomorrow. Great.

That reminds me, I didn’t fail anything from last term – YAY!!!

Skills – D
Physics – D
Math – HD

I can’t believe I didn’t fail Physics, and to get a Distinction is like the icing on the cake. I expected Skills to fall around the D mark as well. In fact, I actually expected a HD for Math, it was that easy…no surprises there. Thanks be to the Almighty for helping me through the term though…couldn’t have gone anywhere without His help.

Anyway I’m doing my timetable for T2 at the moment. No wonder I can’t go into any detail on the happenings lately. Sorry folks.

Ciao.

ASCII? No.

Can’t get much better than that.

Is the 25th letter of the alphabet.

…ame. (Return of the almighty Ellipsis!!! :O)

Because of my latest ordeal, I can’t get my learner’s license yet. Yet.

OH, THE HUGE MANATEE!!!

I think this is the first time my post title didn’t end in an ellipsis.

Dear diary, (woah, I have changed)
I haven’t posted anything in a while due to my downright suicidal feeling. Of course I will never commit suicide, unless you count Christian martyrdom by choice as suicide. I’m finding it so hard to cope still, no matter how optimistic I am. I’ve given everything to the Lord, but I’m struggling – struggling to keep my spirits up. It doesn’t work, but I’m hoping that the old saying – time heals all wounds – will prove true in my case. It’s yet to be proven. :’( OH, THE HUGE MANATEE!!! Why does :’) look so awkward…

On another note, which sidelines my depression, I now have a banjo. A Washburn banjo, surprisingly, since I’ve been staring down the old Fender that’s been on the rack for a while now. And Jessie is flaming me for getting it. Not because it’s a Washburn, but simply because it’s a banjo. She hates them. Apparently I’ve committed social suicide by just holding the thing. Her feelings oscillate when I swap it for my guitar…and back…

Another note – my stupid laptop won’t detect the stupid access point that I configured in my stupid router which I bought from stupid Officeworks along with a not-stupid LX3 laser mouse today. The mouse is cool. My laptop isn’t. So much for ‘updating drivers solves everything’. Fail. Epic.

I better not binge on failcake tomorrow.

I’m depressed. Really depressed. Suicidal depressed. But I won’t. There’s a divine purpose for everything. I’ll cope.

I’m sick. For like the first time this year. I think I forgot to take my Super-Garlic Vitamin C tablet yesterday or something. Or maybe it’s the fact the minimum temperature suddenly dropped from 17 to 8. I actually have a cold…something that isn’t hayfever. I don’t count that as sickness. It’s like a temporary one-day annoyance. I feel so helpless, I haven’t felt like this in a while. My head feels so stuffed. I’m happy that it hit during the holidays though…I would have hated it if I had to go through even one day of term like this.

My nose is itchy.